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Writer's pictureAnna List

What Does it Mean To Be called A Submissive?

Updated: May 19, 2022

David has been my submissive from the moment we met, first as a client, then as a life partner, and finally my husband. But he has concerns. He is very concerned about what it means to be a submissive, and what does that mean to other people?





The label 'submissive' can mean many definitions depending on how a person first learned about ‘submissives’.

In our latest podcast, we thrash out why David has these concerns and where they might come from.


Interestingly, I recently did a podcast with Ariel Anderssen who expressed similar concerns about being a female submissive and how other females may view her. I will release this podcast 14 March. Patrons get early access 21 February.


For David, though, we discussed the following:


  1. Do most people learn about submissive through Femdom porn, which may or may not perpetuate a one dimensional view?

  2. Online dommes often treat submissive as ‘pathetic losers’. How true is this?

  3. Are Femdom events exaggerated for theatrical novelty and therefore not representative of lifestyle submissive?

  4. Are submissive males barristers and CEOs or ‘pathetic losers’? Or both?

  5. How true is the stereotype?

  6. Do the demands of High Protocol and BDSM events for submissive males put them off?


We discuss these topics to discover if there is any truth in the assumptions, and does it really matter, anyway?


This Pillow Talk episode is exclusive to my Patreons - Friend Plus and Family.


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