I've ummed and aahed about writing this blog. How to book an appointment with your favourite Mistress, whether Gas, Medical, Rubber, Bondage, whomever she is, or whatever she does, sounds awfully patronising.
I'm not sure how to write this without sounding condescending...because the people who will read it, don't need to, and the people who ought to study it and take notes won't read it!
But, this blog has been swirling around my head for several months now so here goes...
There is a good chance that you discovered Mistress via social media. A tweet or a post has caught your eye and you're intrigued!
DO NOT APPLY VIA DM.
Especially DO NOT APPLY VIA REPLY OR COMMENT.
This was a recent reply on Twitter (since deleted as I can't find it now)
DM me lady anna i want to submit
Yeah, no, it doesn't work that way. I can guarantee that you will be completely ignored.
No effort made. No care or consideration taken.
He's either a tyre-kicker or a window-licker. Either way...forgotten him already.
Search Engine Results
Or, you may have typed in some search terms in Google and a great looking website has popped up.
Do yourself a huge favour and take the time to read it. If you value your crown jewels and you are serious about applying, especially for Medical Play, Dental Fetish, or Gas Anaesthesia Fetish Role Play, then make sure you have read and understood and can demonstrate that you have made an informed choice.
You may be into objectification and anonymity but I can assure you that Mistresses are not. If you illustrate to me, through your query or responses that you have not carefully read my website, then do not expect to hear back from me.
If you can't be bothered, or take the process seriously, neither will I.
Respect Our Application Process
i make no apology for my lengthy application process where several steps successfully filter out the undesirables and the downright weird.
When I came back from retirement I made the rookie mistake of assuming that all applications were genuine! Had i really forgotten those heady days of no show after no show with pathetic excuses for their weasly messing me about?
An aspiring patient of The Anna List Clinic had the dreadful misfortune of not only breaking down en route, but also his phone's battery died too!!
I kicked myself up and down my clinic cursing
myself for forgetting how flaky
some people can be.
That person has been banned from my social media profiles and banned from ever contacting me again.
I dragged up my old application processes from my memory and I designed my sparkly new application process to sort the serious applications from the lickers and kickers.
Oh, but I'm not telling you exactly what it is. That's well earned intel honed through many disappointments and self-kicking.
Let me give you a great example of a licker or kicker who could turn out to be a major problem for a less experienced Mistress.
This charmer, let's call him Ryan Turner, applied correctly through my contact form. I didn't spot any red flags. He moved onto the next stage. Again, no red flags. A very brief application, but hey-ho, some are.
During this process he was asked for a deposit, to prove his commitment. Instead, he wanted to find out more by emailing me instead with a question I will never reply to.
Noticing that he had swerved the deposit requirement I directed him back to this step. Again, he swerved the chance to show his commitment and launched into...well...see the screenshots for yourself. Click to enlarge.
Crikey! He sounds stable and safe.
What a tool!
Buy me? BUY ME! I'm too Fanny to 'meat' up? I'm emailing like a big man? Make up your mind Ryan.
After posting some of this exchange online I was contacted by a couple of people who told me exactly who he is. He has a profile on Fetlife. He's a father of three small children. Thankfully their mother has seen the light and left this piece of excrement.
Imagine if my safety protocols were not as robust as they are.
Imagine letting this into my clinic!
He's clearly unhinged, aggressive, and violent towards women. I imagine he is very violent behind closed doors.
He also emailed me this, asking if I liked his gloves.
Which reminds me...
Be Discreet: Respect Our Business!
Do not, ever ever ask me to confirm what I do or do not use or do via email (or any other form of typed communication. All the salient information is shared on my website. Any other pressing matters will be discussed with you during the assessment interview prior to arranging the appointment.
I never disclose my full address. Ever.
Respect Our Time
Don't be offended if I don't answer all of your questions prior to session. I understand that you are excited, and you're building yourself up prior to the appointment date but I am a very busy women with a lot of other responsibilities.
I'm not going to get into discussion with you
I'm not going to provide a bit of wank chat for you
I'll tell you what you need to know, how much you need to know, and I'll tell you when you need to know it.
Nurse is in charge.
This is when we both have a chat and see if we have a rapport. If we can barely drag a word out of each other or we think the other is a bit cuckoo, it gives us both time to bail.
hint: men sometimes like to talk over me. I don't know if it is because they are hard of hearing, or my soft voice is hard to hear or they are just used to everyone falling silent when they talk, but don't do it to me, ever, I can't stand such rudeness.
This call is the time to ask some questions and receive important instructions that must be observed prior to, and during your appointment.
Are you still reading? Then you will probably get this far in the application process, where we've had a good chat and a laugh and you're now quivering before me in my Clinic.
I don't mind nerves. I prefer nerves. If you saunter in, chewing gum, with your hands in your pockets, I'll probably spin you round and march you straight back out.
Nerves, or apprehension, even bum-clenching fear is perfect. I like that. I may settle you down and wait until you are calmer, or I may wind you up even more knowing that it will be so much fun, for me initially, and you eventually.
NEVER EVER EVER
This has happened. Remarkably!
Never, tell me what my trolleys are, or how they work, and never ever EVER tell me what to do. Please be very very certain that I know my equipment a lot better than you imagine you do.
That fact that I have even had to say this...
So, after all that, are you ready to take the next step?